The WatersHack - Pearl JaMasters
GO.
Now that season has truly started, and the scores matter what are 5 Goals/Improvements you are seeking this season.
4 Courses you want to play?
My 2021 golf season fashion fully realized
Vedder circa 1996
Rearview Mirror-
Now that the Masters is truly behind us and we are back to the normal full year wait, and not the 5 months pause that spoiled us already spoiled folks, let’s reflect on this beloved, unmatched tournament (how Nantz like, I think that guy is literally reflecting on the Masters every second of his life).
Why Go?
What is it about the Masters that makes it so appealing? Why is it, for most of us golf junkies, the best and our favorite event. It can’t be the coverage because that is horrendous. Glad we cannot see most of the round until 3pm (2 on Sunday). I know there are featured groups and you can see every shot on a 5-minute delay if you click on said player, but come on why do they intentionally limit the coverage. The players championship literally gave us every player, every shot in real time. So, what is it then? An ugly jacket (which I would do anything to win)? A sketchy not so inclusive history? Jim Nantz making every moment seem like it is a tear inducing, life changing, breathy poem? Faldo talking about who the fuck knows what? Its like Ricky Gervais Night at the Museum curator is calling the action except when Faldo does finish a thought (rarely), it feels like maybe he shouldn’t have. “Its like he hit an apple right up the side of a cliff from his Volvo, right?” - What the fuck does that mean. So, what is it? Why do we keep coming back to this poorly broadcast, sketchy place every year and literally ignore, work, children, wives, hygiene logic and all else to do so?
Augusta - as natural as a sunset
Hail Hail-
It’s the course…The answer is always the course. That’s why I come back, and I think that’s why all of you do too. Idk if it really looks as incredible as they show it on tv, but I am drinking the Kool Aid until shown otherwise. The course is the mask that hides the ugly face underneath but as a golf fan that is all we really see is these great players battling this amazing course. That’s all the poetry Nantz needs to spew in between Old-Nick’s incoherent thoughts. I do not swoon much about the courses they play on the PGA tour. Sure, there are a couple of courses we all dream of playing and certainly many specific holes, but in all honesty most of the tracks look no more exciting than any municipal course down the road just with a way better maintenance crew. Augusta does not look that way. It looks special, it looks like the perfect course, maybe it is just the built-in hype, maybe it is the illusion they have David Copperfielded on us, I do not know. But I am intrigued and may be willing to make many bad life choices to get a round there as opposed to, you know, TPC Boston that I may take a stab at if they drop the prices to Calderone’s fall twilight $30 rate. My cynical mind wanders to all kinds of wonderful places all to the jolly soundtrack of Radiohead’s Kid A, so me believing this course lives up to the hype and maintaining that positivity must mean something right? It is a course that gives us the perfect golf tournament experience, a course that they can score but cannot dominate. Where one year, 7 under is enough but the following year a future star comes out and puts down 18 under. So next April cannot come fast enough even though that means I will be even older and greyer with what little hair I have left and is still wanting to turn that dial forward. That’s not cause of Nantz pushing his emotional voice in Butler Cabin (oh god what was that cabin really for before they handed off a grass-colored blazer), or for another drawn out montage that shows the same 10 images every time, or the emotional honorary starters that are the same old men every year (this year actually was very significant, but next year I am guessing back to the same-old same-old), or any of the contrived nonsense that surrounds this tournaments. It is the course and the golf that course gives us. Does anything else really matter
Future Days-
Kudos to Hideki (as if he needs mine). That must go down as one of the most clutch performances in Masters history. It was not the most dominant final round, or even tournament run, but this guy literally had an entire and heavily populated country on his back, carrying all their emotions and he closed and that is fucking amazing. I cannot even focus in enough to hit a 30-yard chip within 10 feet and this guy carried _ (insert current population of Japan) __ on his shoulders. Amazing, great for game and he deserved it and it will only improve game going forward. Also, he joins Jordan Spieth in getting that huge winless monkey off their backs (both last won in 17 I believe) and now we have two more juggernauts that can win any week adding them back to the amazing current list that adds more people seemingly every week (Willie Z anyone). Golf has never been better I don’t care what anybody says, there are 35 legitimate stars in the game now and about 50 more that are right there. How amazing to have so many great players to watch and not worry about if the only 2 guys that matter are having a good week or will be playing. Good days ahead for golf fans!
Yes, I own this poster…yes, it is above my bed…no, my wife is not thrilled…